Speaking out in opposition of ‘Quiet Quitting’, because we need to know we can depend on each other.

Over the last couple of years, and especially now - despite the fact that this fall was supposed to be when I was able to ‘refocus’ and get back to working on my work and myself after dealing with the house for so long - there has been so much on my plate that I constantly feel the presence of the tasks and obligations I want to be attending to, but can’t find time to get onto the top of the pile. Each minute of each day, including when I’m writing this post, I’ve got 3-4 other things I should be doing. Some of them are for pay, some of them are for my family, some are for my house, some are for the cats, some are for myself, and there’s probably 15 other categories. People will say ‘oh just make a list and set up a spreadsheet of tasks and you’ll be better at things’ Are you kidding me??? Do you know how long that would take to do properly? Can you imagine how many more tasks would get shoved aside just for me to set up some fairytale spreadsheet that will get reshuffled and blown up every day anyway as soon as the phone starts ringing? Not happening. I am very aware of how many balls i’ve dropped in the last 2 years for clients, potential clients, our renovation, time with the kids, keeping in touch with the 20-30 people I would like to be in touch with daily, visiting friends, helping clients helping friends, working out, making things, you name it. The weight of things I no longer have time for is crushing, and if you ask me, there is only one way to solve the issue, and it is NOT ‘quiet quitting’ or just saying no or making more boundaries for people to not infringe on my time. The only solution is DOING THE THINGS. Sheesh I just got up to feed the screaming cats and I saw the yard and remembered I have to do about 4 weeks worth of yard work before winter. It’s Oct 27, so….. Heck even if I won the lottery and didn’t have to chase income, I would have an overbooked calendar of people and projects and possibilities.

I’m painfully aware that I’ve let people down that wanted me to work for them, or are currently depending on me to work for them. I’ve turned down some jobs because I knew I couldn’t fit them in and I’ve had people have to be patient with me because I have so many screaming needs coming at me every day that it takes a while for each to get attended to. That’s not fair to them at all, and I hate that it happens. What would be worse, though, is if I never tried to force it all to get done. Can you imagine, for example, that someone you depend on as a real estate agent - a REALLY time-critical career - just said ‘nah I don’t feel like it today’ and just let things go til tomorrow so they could have ‘boundaries’, and control what is on the top of the daily pile of their tasks? I promise you, the most time-critical of my tasks has always been given priority, so I can at least say that I have been able to not drop those balls from the air. The other side of that coin, though, are things like the fact that my current daily-wear contacts are 2 weeks old because they are my last pair. I managed to get ordering more of them crossed off the list today, but only because I cleared myself some time at home today - I told my grandma I couldn’t come by ( I visit her several times a week), I don’t have some drawings yet that I’m waiting on before I start a kitchen design, and I put off for another week doing anything on the house. 2 weeks ago I had to use time in an airport to file my nails and pay school fees and parking tickets online, because it was the only uninterrupted chance I had to sit down that week. That’s the level i’m at with ‘taking care of things’.

I’m not saying that just because i’m overbooked that everyone else should be too, what I’m saying is that it’s not okay to just walk away from your responsibilities, however many you have. We have to be aware of the weight of our responsibilities to OTHERS, because that is what should drive us to clean the slate by finishing things, not by just erasing the slate or not accepting those responsibilities in the first place. It blows my mind that people could take a job and willingly do the bare minimum, or act like it’s their employer or client’s duty to pay them just for doing the favor of showing up. The cultural acceptance of striving to not work, striving to spoil ourselves without earning it through providing valuable contributions - to society, our jobs, our family, etc - is really not ok. It’s not okay to ‘quiet quit’ when your boss - and the customers, clients, citizens, dependents - are needing you to be a caring part of the team. Every time you receive a service, buy a thing, use a car, plane, phone, TV, hospital, utility, ALL OF IT, you become the person depending on someone else to care and show up to do a good job. You are depending on them to not quiet quit, to not say they deserve more than you can provide in exchange. You are depending on them to value the opportunity your needs present to them. We should enjoy helping, serving, and caring about what others need from us. Sometimes that leads to financial benefits, sometimes it leads to deeper personal connections, sometimes it leads to meaningful sense of personal satisfaction, but if you really get out there and offer yourself it can lead to all three, and you can bring your people with you on that positive ride!

I am humbled by the fact that people reach out to me and ask for advise, service, entertainment, contributions, and friendship. It makes me so nuts that right now I can’t meet all of these wonderful obligations with the top priority that they all deserve, but I promise to NEVER quiet quit. I will always be open to having someone push me when they need me to deliver, and I would expect the same from those that want to work with me. If you see those around you, especially at work, being proud of taking more than they have earned, or shirking responsibilities, or making light of the importance of their role to those that depend on them, call them on it. Remind them of what it feels like to be on the receiving end of their behavior. And if you do really need to quit, or take a break, or walk away, or completely change your situation, then GO FOR IT! Make a clean break, be honest, tell people you are no longer to be counted on for however long you need. Shout from the mountain tops that you are moving on because you can’t give 100% anymore! It is not quiet quitting if you own the situation and tell those depending on you that you are no longer available. If that’s what you need, then that’s what you need. However, if what you need is anything from a paycheck to an invite to the proverbial party, you have to be present, be dependable, and open to being needed to meet and exceed expectations.

Now after writing this (as fast as I possibly could, I gave myself 40 minutes TOPS) I am feeling REALLY pressured by all of the things on my mental list, so perhaps now that i’ve got this off my chest I can move something else up the mental list and get that done as well. So let’s get back out there, try to exceed expectations, try to go above and beyond, and show the people around us that we don’t intend to just do the bare minimum. Respect those that depend on you and the favor will be repaid.