This week I’m ‘treating myself’ to a break from the constant house-related commitments and indulging in the expression of thoughts and insights, as opposed to moving garbage all over the property - I honestly had no idea that renovating a house would generally mean i’d spend 10-20 hours a week moving heavy things around. On a related note, avoid building on a steep hillside if you’re going to be doing a lot of the work yourself and you are not 22 and a professional athlete.

I was brainstorming yesterday about which of the topics I enjoy rambling about professionally to put down on paper here, and after a few hours of pinballing, I went to the experts, and asked people what they would like to hear my thoughts on. One suggestion was what led to the title line of this post, and it certainly is one that I have been thinking a lot about lately. Currently, I have clients in my focus that are at just about every stage of their real estate process: their situations include considering to buy a house to flip, having found the ‘perfect’ home but their place is brand-new on the market and hasn’t sold yet, selling a house that’s listed but not getting showings and they are ok waiting it out, considering taking a rent-to-own, casually house-hunting but without the constraints of time or budget or young children or really anything(yes we CAN envy them! ;) ), listed new construction that’s on the market but still in a really rough unfinished state, YOU NAME IT. When you have a wide range of positions and perspectives in your client base, you constantly have to pivot and prepare for their unique needs and also be able to mentally switch from one client to the next seamlessly, so you can understand their needs and where they are coming from emotionally. I say ‘emotionally’ because let’s face it - just about everything related to property, whether it’s buying/selling or renovating or building, is an emotional experience. Our homes are where we LIVE, and often where our sense of security, both financial and meteorological, is anchored.

SO, let’s talk about those positions way back up there in the title!

• When to Settle

  First, you need to define what ‘settle’ means to you. Is it coming to peace with not getting 20% over ask like your neighbors did back in March 2022 when things were INSANE? Is it purchasing a home that doesn’t tick all the boxes related to dreamworthy storage? Or is it more a more significant criteria? Does taking or making the offer mean you will have to sacrifice a serious life goal or the ability to make other important things happen in your life? One example of this “significant’ definition would be that you can’t afford to send a child to college because you feel the only available options for you to buy are far far above your budget. I counsel people to really take a close look at the their ability to overcome the factors that mean they are ‘settling’ and then realign their priorities so that they can see that ‘settling’ might actually mean they have opportunities they didn't have before. If those buyers that decided they won’t be able to afford college if they bought what was in front of them decide that they will look in a completely different town, or buy something MUCH smaller, they might be able to see that now they have the ability to not only pay for college but also visit their child regularly, or perhaps they can start planning to add onto and renovate that smaller home into their dream home once college is paid and done. See? ‘settling’ just became opportunities! “When to settle’ is very much about the psychology behind your choices, and the buyer or seller is very much able to move this needle if they are open to it.

• When to Consider

  My answer to this is ‘Always Consider!’ Don’t walk into a transaction without being willing to consider all options. So many times I have counseled buyers to look at something they said ‘we would never consider’ and then they buy it, or a seller thinks ‘I will only consider offers above ask’ but then they turn down so many other offers that the listing becomes stale and now they are on the defensive and the house is being overlooked. View the act of ‘considering’ as mental exercise, so that you can stretch your negotiating muscles and are more limber when it comes to seeing the potential in the choices presented to you.

• When to Walk Away

  This one can be tricky, especially if you’ve done your training and are feeling extra prepared to ‘consider all options’. Relying on your agent in this case is very important, because it’s our job to steer you away from bad apples and sketchy deals. There are a lot of nuances to knowing when to walk away, but much like in personal relationships, look out for the following warning signs: 1. Your honesty is being taken advantage of - for example, if you declare your home is for sale ‘as-is’, that doesn’t mean it’s worth 30% less than market, so don’t believe you have to take lowball offer if you are fairly priced. 2. Clear and precise answers are hard to come by - if your agent is asking for information about a home’s history, a potential buyer is evading sending that pre-approval letter, or if you are asking a potential listing agent about their references and you get the runaround, walk away. I’ve also struggled with listings that don’t respond when I try to schedule a showing, potential buyers that refuse to answer if they have an agent but want me to do work for them for free, and other shady business like that. If you sense dishonesty or have trouble getting responses in such a mission-critical industry, walk away. I tend to be very generous with my time, especially with people that I later find never intended to use my services in a paid fashion, so this is advice I need to get better at taking. If you wouldn’t work for free, please don’t expect others to do it, either.

• When to Commit

  Again, like in our personal journeys for careers, relationships, goals, even choosing where to eat dinner or which shelter animal to rescue, this can be emotional, so take this question to heart. Besides, if you have done your homework on the above topics, it should be easy! You commit when you have come to terms with what the other side of the decision looks like - you can see yourself living in that house, or fixing that house, or taking your proceeds - or loss - and enjoying the release from the tether of that property you have sold. You commit when you have talked through the potential pros and cons with your agent, your partners, families, friends, pets, coworkers, Peloton high-fivers, strangers on the train, and most importantly, YOURSELF. Allow yourself time to consider the decisions at hand and rely on professionals to talk things through with you. I like to share my personal experiences with buying and selling, designing and renovating, landlording, making and losing money, and making a LOT of mistakes with my clients so that we can really get conversation flowing regarding what their outcomes might be. I am an open book, and I’m always adding notes in my margins so that I can have more to share with anyone that needs advice in this arena.

I hope you guys find this helpful! Real estate and design can be intimidating - but I also think some people don’t take it seriously enough. It requires taking the time to really align yourself with your goals and priorities, and sometimes when you dive in, you find that those priorities aren’t what you thought they were. One foot in carefully in front of the other, and you’ll find you can confidently settle, consider, walk away, and COMMIT! Thanks everyone!